Chapter 4

WE AGNOSTICS

IN THE PRECEDING chapters you have learned

something of alcoholism. We hope we have

made clear the distinction between the alcoholic and

the non-alcoholic.

(See BB xxviii:1, 20:5 - 21:1, 108 Bottom - 109:1)

If, when you honestly want to, you

find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you

have little control over the amount you take, you are

probably alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be

suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experi-

ence will conquer.

(See BB 27:2-4, 43:3)

To one who feels he is an atheist or agnostic such an

experience seems impossible, but to continue as he is

means disaster, especially if he is an alcoholic of the

hopeless variety. To be doomed to an alcoholic death

or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy

alternatives to face.

But it isn’t so difficult. About half our original

fellowship were of exactly that type. At first some of

us tried to avoid the issue, hoping against hope we

were not true alcoholics. But after a while we had to

face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life

-or else.

(See BB 25:3)

Perhaps it is going to be that way with you.

But cheer up, something like half of us thought we

were atheists or agnostics. Our experience shows that

you need not be disconcerted.

If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of

life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us

WE AGNOSTICS 45

would have recovered long ago. But we found that

such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter

how much we tried.

(See BB 27 Bottom, 62:2)

We could wish to be moral, we

could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact,

we could will these things with all our might, but the

needed power wasn’t there. Our human resources, as

marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed

utterly.

Any number of A.A.'s can say to the drifter, “Yes, we

were diverted from our childhood faith, too. The overconfi-

dence of youth was too much for us. Of course, we were

glad that good home and religious training had given us

certain values. We were still sure that we ought to be fairly

honest, tolerant, and just, that we ought to be ambitious and

hardworking. We became convinced that such simple rules

of fair play and decency would be enough.

“As material success founded upon no more than these

ordinary attributes began to come to us, we felt we were

winning at the game of life. This was exhilarating, and it

made us happy. Why should we be bothered with theologi-

cal abstractions and religious duties, or with the state of our

souls here or hereafter? The here and now was good

enough for us. The will to win would carry us through. But

then alcohol began to have its way with us. Finally, when

all our score cards read 'zero,' and we saw that one more

strike would put us out of the game forever, we had to look

for our lost faith. It was in A.A, that we rediscovered it. And

so can you.”

T&T 28-29 Step Two

Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to

find a power by which we could live, and it had to be

a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where

and how were we to find this Power?

Well, that’s exactly what this book is about. Its

main object is to enable you to find a Power greater

than yourself which will solve your problem. That

means we have written a book which we believe to

be spiritual as well as moral. And it means, of course,

that we are going to talk about God. Here difficulty

arises with agnostics. Many times we talk to a new

man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoho-

lic problems and explain our fellowship. But his face

falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially

when we mention God, for we have re-opened a sub-

ject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or

entirely ignored.

We know how he feels. We have shared his honest

doubt and prejudice. Some of us have been violently

anti-religious. To others, the word “God’’ brought up

a particular idea of Him with which someone had tried

to impress them during childhood. Perhaps we re-

jected this particular conception because it seemed

inadequate. With that rejection we imagined we had

abandoned the God idea entirely.

(See BB 12:1)

We were bothered

46 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

with the thought that faith and dependence upon a

Power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak, even

cowardly. We looked upon this world of warring

individuals, warring theological systems, and inexpli-

cable calamity, with deep skepticism.

(See BB 11:2)

Many of us had strong logic,

too, which “proved” there was no God whatever. What

about all the accidents, sickness, cruelty, and injustice in the

world? What about all those unhappy lives which were the

direct result of unfortunate birth and uncontrollable circum-

stances? Surely there could be no justice in this scheme of

things, and therefore no God at all.

T&T 96-97 Step Eleven

We looked

askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly.

How could a Supreme Being have anything to do with

it all? And who could comprehend a Supreme Being

anyhow?

Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves

thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, “Who,

then, made all this?’’ There was a feeling of awe and

wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost.

Yes, we of agnostic temperament have had these

thoughts and experiences. Let us make haste to reas-

sure you. We found that as soon as we were able to

lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to

believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we com-

menced to get results, even though it was impossible

for any of us to fully define or comprehend that

Power, which is God.

Much to our relief, we discovered we did not need

to consider another’s conception of God. Our own

conception, however inadequate, was sufficient to

make the approach and to effect a contact with Him.

As soon as we admitted the possible existence of a

Creative Intelligence, a Spirit of the Universe under-

lying the totality of things, we began to be possessed

of a new sense of power and direction, provided we

took other simple steps. We found that God does not

make too hard terms with those who seek Him. To us,

the Realm of Spirit is broad, roomy, all inclusive; never

exclusive or forbidding to those who earnestly seek.

It is open, we believe, to all men. (See BB 12 Bottom)

WE AGNOSTICS 47

When, therefore, we speak to you of God, we mean

your own conception of God. This applies, too, to

other spiritual expressions which you find in this book.

(See BB 12:2)

Do not let any prejudice you may have against

spiritual terms deter you from honestly asking yourself

what they mean to you. At the start, this was all we

needed to commence spiritual growth, to effect our

first conscious relation with God as we understood

Him. Afterward, we found ourselves accepting many

things which then seemed entirely out of reach. That

was growth, but if we wished to grow we had to begin

somewhere. So we used our own conception, how-

ever limited it was.

We needed to ask ourselves but one short question.

“Do I now believe, or am I even willing to believe,

that there is a Power greater than myself?’’ As soon

as a man can say that he does believe, or is willing to

believe, we emphatically assure him that he is on his

way. It has been repeatedly proven among us that

upon this simple cornerstone a wonderfully effective

spiritual structure can be built.*

(See BB 12:4)

“That,” agrees the sponsor, “is a very good question in-

deed. I think I can tell you exactly how to relax. You won't

have to work at it very hard, either. Listen, if you will, to

these three statements. First, Alcoholics Anonymous does

not demand that you believe anything. All of its Twelve

Steps are but suggestions. Second, to get sober and to stay

sober, you don't have to swallow all of Step Two right now.

Looking back, I find that I took it piecemeal myself. Third,

all you really need is a truly open mind. Just resign from the

debating society and quit bothering yourself with such deep

questions as whether it was the hen or the egg that came

first. Again I say, all you need is the open mind.”

T&T 26 Step Two

That was great news to us, for we had assumed we

could not make use of spiritual principles unless we

accepted many things on faith which seemed difficult

to believe. When people presented us with spiritual

approaches, how frequently did we all say, “I wish I

had what that man has. I’m sure it would work if

I could only believe as he believes. But I cannot ac-

cept as surely true the many articles of faith which are

so plain to him.’’ So it was comforting to learn that

we could commence at a simpler level.

Many a man like

you has begun to solve the problem by the method of sub-

stitution. You can, if you wish, make A.A., itself your

'higher power.' Here's a very large group of people who

have solved their alcohol problem. In this respect they are

certainly a power greater than you, who have not even

come close to a solution. Surely you can have faith in them.

Even this minimum of faith will be enough. You will find

many members who have crossed the threshold just this

way. All of them will tell you that, once across, their faith

broadened and deepened. Relieved of the alcohol obses-

sion, their lives unaccountably transformed, they came to

believe in a Higher Power, and most of them began to talk

of God.”

T&T 26-27 Step Two

Besides a seeming inability to accept much on faith,

* Please be sure to read Appendix II on “Spiritual Experience.”

48 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy,

sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice. Many of us

have been so touchy that even casual reference to

spiritual things made us bristle with antagonism.

(See BB 10:4)

This

sort of thinking had to be abandoned. Though some

of us resisted, we found no great difficulty in casting

aside such feelings. Faced with alcoholic destruction,

we soon became as open minded on spiritual matters

as we had tried to be on other questions. In this re-

spect alcohol was a great persuader. It finally beat us

into a state of reasonableness.

"The here and now was good

enough for us. The will to win would carry us through. But

then alcohol began to have its way with us. Finally, when

all our score cards read 'zero,' and we saw that one more

strike would put us out of the game forever, we had to look

for our lost faith. It was in A.A, that we rediscovered it. And

so can you.”

T&T 29 Step Two

We who had won so handsomely in a walk turned into all-

time losers. We saw that we had to reconsider or die.

T&T 30 Step Two

Sometimes this was a

tedious process; we hope no one else will be preju-

diced for as long as some of us were.

(See BB 28:2)

Under the lash of alcoholism, we are driven to A.A.,

and there we discover the fatal nature of our situation.

Then, and only then, do we become as open-minded to

conviction and as willing to listen as the dying can be. We

stand ready to do anything which will lift the merciless

obsession from us.

T&T 24 Step One

The reader may still ask why he should believe in a

Power greater than himself. We think there are good

reasons. Let us have a look at some of them.

The practical individual of today is a stickler for

facts and results. Nevertheless, the twentieth century

readily accepts theories of all kinds, provided they are

firmly grounded in fact. We have numerous theories,

for example, about electricity. Everybody believes

them without a murmur of doubt. Why this ready

acceptance? Simply because it is impossible to explain

what we see, feel, direct, and use, without a reason-

able assumption as a starting point.

The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power,

the more independent we actually are. Therefore depen-

dence, as A.A. practices it, is really a means of gaining true

independence of the spirit.

Let's examine for a moment this idea of dependence at

the level of everyday living. In this area it is startling to dis-

cover how dependent we really are, and how unconscious

of that dependence. Every modern house has electric wiring

carrying power and light to its interior. We are delighted

with this dependence; our main hope is that nothing will

ever cut off the supply of current. By so accepting our de-

pendence upon this marvel of science, we find ourselves

more independent personally. Not only are we more inde-

pendent, we are even more comfortable and secure. Power

flows just where it is needed. Silently and surely, electricity,

that strange energy so few people understand, meets our

simplest daily needs, and our most desperate ones, too. Ask

the polio sufferer confined to an iron lung who depends

with complete trust upon a motor to keep the breath of life

in him.

T&T 36 Step Three

Everybody nowadays, believes in scores of assump-

tions for which there is good evidence, but no perfect

visual proof. And does not science demonstrate that

visual proof is the weakest proof? It is being con-

stantly revealed, as mankind studies the material

world, that outward appearances are not inward

reality at all. To illustrate:

The prosaic steel girder is a mass of electrons whirl

WE AGNOSTICS 49

ing around each other at incredible speed. These

tiny bodies are governed by precise laws, and these

laws hold true throughout the material world. Science

tells us so. We have no reason to doubt it. When,

however, the perfectly logical assumption is suggested

that underneath the material world and life as we see

it, there is an All Powerful, Guiding, Creative Intelli-

gence, right there our perverse streak comes to the

surface and we laboriously set out to convince our-

selves it isn’t so. We read wordy books and indulge

in windy arguments, thinking we believe this universe

needs no God to explain it. Were our contentions

true, it would follow that life originated out of noth-

ing, means nothing, and proceeds nowhere.

Let's look first at the case of the one who says he won't

believe- the belligerent one. He is in a state of mind which

can be described only as savage. His whole philosophy of

life, in which he so gloried, is threatened. It's bad enough,

he thinks, to admit alcohol has him down for keeps. But

now, still smarting from that admission, he is faced with

something really impossible. How he does cherish the

thought that man, risen so majestically from a single cell in

the primordial ooze, is the spearhead of evolution and

therefore the only god that his universe knows!

T&T 25 Step Two

Instead of regarding ourselves as intelligent agents,

spearheads of God’s ever advancing Creation, we

agnostics and atheists chose to believe that our human

intelligence was the last word, the alpha and the

omega, the beginning and end of all. Rather vain of

us, wasn’t it?

Now we come to another kind of problem: the intellec-

tually self-sufficient man or woman. To these, many A.A.'s

can say, “Yes, we were like you- far too smart for our own

good. We loved to have people call us precocious. We used

our education to blow ourselves up into prideful balloons,

though we were careful to hide this from others. Secretly,

we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our

brainpower alone. Scientific progress told us there was

nothing man couldn't do. Knowledge was all-powerful. In-

tellect could conquer nature. Since we were brighter than

most folks (so we thought), the spoils of victory would be

ours for the thinking.”

T&T`29-30 Step Two

We, who have traveled this dubious path, beg you

to lay aside prejudice, even against organized religion.

We have learned that whatever the human frailties of

various faiths may be, those faiths have given purpose

and direction to millions. People of faith have a logi-

cal idea of what life is all about. Actually, we used to

have no reasonable conception whatever. We used to

amuse ourselves by cynically dissecting spiritual be-

liefs and practices when we might have observed that

many spiritually-minded persons of all races, colors,

and creeds were demonstrating a degree of stability,

happiness and usefulness which we should have sought

ourselves.

50 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Instead, we looked at the human defects of these

people, and sometimes used their shortcomings as a

basis of wholesale condemnation. We talked of in-

tolerance, while we were intolerant ourselves. We

missed the reality and the beauty of the forest because

we were diverted by the ugliness of some of its trees.

We never gave the spiritual side of life a fair hearing.

Another crowd of A.A.'s says: “We were plumb di-

gusted with religion and all its works. The Bible, we said,

was full of nonsense; we could cite it chapter and verse, and

we couldn't see the Beatitudes for the 'begats.' In spots its

morality was impossibly good; in others it seemed impossi-

bly bad. But it was the morality of the religionists

themselves that really got us down. We gloated over the

hypocrisy, bigotry, and crushing self-righteousness that

clung to so many 'believers' even in their Sunday best. How

we loved to shout the damaging fact that millions of the

'good men of religion' were still killing one another off in

the name of God. This all meant, of course, that we had

substituted negative for positive thinking. After we came to

A.A., we had to recognize that this trait had been an ego-

feeding proposition. In belaboring the sins of some reli-

gious people, we could feel superior to all of them.

T&T 30 Step Two

In our personal stories you will find a wide variation

in the way each teller approaches and conceives of

the Power which is greater than himself. Whether we

agree with a particular approach or conception seems

to make little difference. Experience has taught us

that these are matters about which, for our purpose,

we need not be worried. They are questions for each

individual to settle for himself.

On one proposition, however, these men and

women are strikingly agreed. Every one of them has

gained access to, and believes in, a Power greater

than himself. This Power has in each case accom-

plished the miraculous, the humanly impossible. As

a celebrated American statesman put it, “Let’s look

at the record.’’

Here are thousands of men and women, worldly in-

deed. They flatly declare that since they have come

to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take

a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain

simple things, there has been a revolutionary change

in their way of living and thinking.

(See BB 25:2, 84 Top [9], 567:4)

In the face of

collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure

of their human resources, they found that a new

power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed

into them. This happened soon after they whole-

heartedly met a few simple requirements.

(See BB xxiv:2)

Once con-

WE AGNOSTICS 51

fused and baffled by the seeming futility of existence,

they show the underlying reasons why they were

making heavy going of life. Leaving aside the drink

question, they tell why living was so unsatisfactory.

They show how the change came over them. When

many hundreds of people are able to say that the

consciousness of the Presence of God is today the most

important fact of their lives, they present a powerful

reason why one should have faith.

(See BB 25:1)

“When we encountered A.A,, the fallacy of our defi-

ance was revealed. At no time had we asked what God's

will was for us; instead we had been telling Him what it

ought to be. No man, we saw, could believe in God and

defy Him, too. Belief meant reliance, not; defiance. In A.A,

we saw the fruits of this belief: men and women spared

from alcohol's final catastrophe. We saw them meet and

transcend their other pains and trials. We saw them calmly

accept impossible situations, seeking neither to run nor to

recriminate. This was not only faith; it was faith that

worked under all conditions. We soon concluded that what-

ever price in humility we must pay, we would pay.”

T&T 31 Step Two

This world of ours has made more material progress

in the last century than in all the millenniums which

went before. Almost everyone knows the reason.

Students of ancient history tell us that the intellect

of men in those days was equal to the best of today.

Yet in ancient times material progress was painfully

slow. The spirit of modern scientific inquiry, research

and invention was almost unknown. In the realm of

the material, men’s minds were fettered by supersti-

tion, tradition, and all sorts of fixed ideas. Some of

the contemporaries of Columbus thought a round

earth preposterous. Others came near putting Galileo

to death for his astronomical heresies.

The sponsor continues, “Take, for example, my own

case. I had a scientific schooling. Naturally I respected,

venerated, even worshiped science. As a matter of fact, I

still do- all except the worship part. Time after time, my

instructors held up to me the basic principle of all scientific

progress: search and research, again and again, always with

the open mind. When I first looked at A.A., my reaction

was just like yours. This A.A, business, I thought, is totally

unscientific. This I can't swallow. I simply won't consider

such nonsense.

“Then I woke up. I had to admit that A.A, showed re-

sults, prodigious results. I saw that my attitude regarding

these had been anything but scientific. It wasn't A.A, that

had the closed mind, it was me. The minute I stopped argu-

ing, I could begin to see and feel. Right there, Step Two

gently and very gradually began to infiltrate my life. I can't

say upon what occasion or upon what day I came to believe

in a Power greater than myself, but I certainly have that be-

lief now. To acquire it, I had only to stop fighting and

practice the rest of A.A.'s program as enthusiastically as I

could.”

T&T 26-27 Step Two

We asked ourselves this: Are not some of us just as

biased and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit

as were the ancients about the realm of the material?

Even in the present century, American newspapers

were afraid to print an account of the Wright brothers’

first successful flight at Kitty Hawk. Had not all efforts

at flight failed before? Did not Professor Langley’s

flying machine go to the bottom of the Potomac

River? Was it not true that the best mathematical

minds had proved man could never fly? Had not

people said God had reserved this privilege to the

52 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

birds? Only thirty years later the conquest of the air

was almost an old story and airplane travel was in

full swing.

But in most fields our generation has witnessed com-

plete liberation of our thinking. Show any longshore-

man a Sunday supplement describing a proposal to

explore the moon by means of a rocket and he will

say, “I bet they do it-maybe not so long either.’’ Is

not our age characterized by the ease with which we

discard old ideas for new, by the complete readiness

with which we throw away the theory or gadget which

does not work for something new which does?

We had to ask ourselves why we shouldn’t apply to

our human problems this same readiness to change

our point of view. [1] We were having trouble with

personal relationships,

(See BB 84 Top [10])

[2] we couldn’t control our emo-

tional natures, [3] we were a prey to misery and depres-

sion,

(See BB 84 Top [6])

[4] we couldn’t make a living,

(See BB 84 Top [10])

[5] we had a feeling of

uselessness,

(See BB Top 84 [6])

[6] we were full of fear,

(See BB 84 Top [10])

[7] we were unhappy,

(See BB 83 Bottom - 84 Top [4])

[8] we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people-

(See BB 84 Top [5])

was not a basic solution of these bedevilments

(See BB 59 Step 1 - unmanageabillity)

important than whether we should see newsreels of

lunar flight? Of course it was.

When we saw others solve their problems by a

simple reliance upon the Spirit of the Universe, we

had to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas

did not work. But the God idea did.

The Wright brothers’ almost childish faith that they

could build a machine which would fly was the main-

spring of their accomplishment. Without that, nothing

could have happened. We agnostics and atheists were

sticking to the idea that self-sufficiency would solve

our problems.

The philosophy of self-sufficiency is not paying off.

Plainly enough, it is a bone-crushing juggernaut whose fi-

nal achievement is ruin.

Therefore, we who are alcoholics can consider our-

selves fortunate indeed. Each of us has had his own near-

fatal encounter with the juggernaut of self-will, and has suf-

fered enough under its weight to be willing to look for

something better. So it is by circumstance rather than by

any virtue that we have been driven to A.A., have admitted

defeat, have acquired the rudiments of faith, and now want

to make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to a

Higher Power.

T&T 37-38 Step Three

When others showed us that “God-suf

WE AGNOSTICS 53

ficiency’’ worked with them, we began to feel like

those who had insisted the Wrights would never fly.

Logic is great stuff. We liked it. We still like it. It

is not by chance we were given the power to reason,

to examine the evidence of our senses, and to draw

conclusions. That is one of man’s magnificent at-

tributes. We agnostically inclined would not feel

satisfied with a proposal which does not lend itself to

reasonable approach and interpretation. Hence we

are at pains to tell why we think our present faith is

reasonable, why we think it more sane and logical to

believe than not to believe, why we say our former

thinking was soft and mushy when we threw up our

hands in doubt and said, “We don’t know.’’

When we became alcoholics, crushed by a self-

imposed crisis we could not postpone or evade, we

had to fearlessly face the proposition that either God

is everything or else He is nothing. God either is, or

He isn’t. What was our choice to be?

"The here and now was good

enough for us. The will to win would carry us through. But

then alcohol began to have its way with us. Finally, when

all our score cards read 'zero,' and we saw that one more

strike would put us out of the game forever, we had to look

for our lost faith. It was in A.A, that we rediscovered it. And

so can you.”

T&T 29 Step Two

We who had won so handsomely in a walk turned into all-

time losers. We saw that we had to reconsider or die.

T&T 30 Step Two

Arrived at this point, we were squarely confronted

with the question of faith. We couldn’t duck the issue.

Some of us had already walked far over the Bridge of

Reason toward the desired shore of faith. The outlines

and the promise of the New Land had brought lustre

to tired eyes and fresh courage to flagging spirits.

Friendly hands had stretched out in welcome. We

were grateful that Reason had brought us so far. But

somehow, we couldn’t quite step ashore. Perhaps we

had been leaning too heavily on Reason that last mile

and we did not like to lose our support.

That was natural, but let us think a little more

closely. Without knowing it, had we not been brought

to where we stood by a certain kind of faith? For did

54 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

we not believe in our own reasoning? Did we not

have confidence in our ability to think? What was

that but a sort of faith? Yes, we had been faithful,

abjectly faithful to the God of Reason. So, in one way

or another, we discovered that faith had been in-

volved all the time!

We found, too, that we had been worshippers.

What a state of mental goose-flesh that used to bring

on! Had we not variously worshipped people, senti-

ment, things, money, and ourselves? And then, with

a better motive, had we not worshipfully beheld the

sunset, the sea, or a flower? Who of us had not loved

something or somebody? How much did these feel-

ings, these loves, these worships, have to do with pure

reason? Little or nothing, we saw at last. Were not

these things the tissue out of which our lives were

constructed? Did not these feelings, after all, deter-

mine the course of our existence? It was impossible to

say we had no capacity for faith, or love, or worship.

In one form or another we had been living by faith

and little else.

Imagine life without faith! Were nothing left but

pure reason, it wouldn’t be life. But we believed in

life-of course we did. We could not prove life in the

sense that you can prove a straight line is the shortest

distance between two points, yet, there it was. Could

we still say the whole thing was nothing but a mass of

electrons, created out of nothing, meaning nothing,

whirling on to a destiny of nothingness? Of course we

couldn’t. The electrons themselves seemed more in-

telligent than that. At least, so the chemist said.

Hence, we saw that reason isn’t everything. Neither

is reason, as most of us use it, entirely dependable,

WE AGNOSTICS 55

though it emanate from our best minds. What about

people who proved that man could never fly?

Yet we had been seeing another kind of flight, a

spiritual liberation from this world, people who rose

above their problems. They said God made these

things possible, and we only smiled. We had seen

spiritual release, but liked to tell ourselves it wasn’t

true.

Actually we were fooling ourselves, for deep down

in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental

idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by

pomp, by worship of other things,

(See BB 13 Top)

but in some form

or other it is there. For faith in a Power greater than

ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that

power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.

We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was

a part of our make-up, just as much as the feeling we

have for a friend. Sometimes we had to search fear-

lessly, but He was there. He was as much a fact as

we were. We found the Great Reality deep down

within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He

may be found. It was so with us.

(See BB 161 Top, 567 Bottom - 568)

We can only clear the ground a bit. If our testi-

mony helps sweep away prejudice, enables you to

think honestly, encourages you to search diligently

within yourself, then, if you wish, you can join us on

the Broad Highway. With this attitude you cannot

fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to come

to you.

Therefore, Step Two is the rallying point for all of us.

Whether agnostic, atheist, or former believer, we can stand

together on this Step. True humility and an open mind can

lead us to faith, and every A.A, meeting is an assurance that

God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to

Him.

T&T 33 Step Two

In this book you will read the experience of a man

who thought he was an atheist. His story is so interest-

ing that some of it should be told now. His change of

heart was dramatic, convincing, and moving.

56 ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS

Our friend was a minister’s son. He attended

church school, where he became rebellious at what

he thought an overdose of religious education. For

years thereafter he was dogged by trouble and frustra-

tion. Business failure, insanity, fatal illness, suicide-

these calamities in his immediate family embittered

and depressed him. Post-war disillusionment, ever

more serious alcoholism, impending mental and physi-

cal collapse, brought him to the point of self-destruc-

tion.

One night, when confined in a hospital, he was ap-

proached by an alcoholic who had known a spiritual

experience. Our friend’s gorge rose as he bitterly

cried out: “If there is a God, He certainly hasn’t done

anything for me!’’ But later, alone in his room, he

asked himself this question: “Is it possible that all the

religious people I have known are wrong?’’ While

pondering the answer he felt as though he lived in

hell. Then, like a thunderbolt, a great thought came.

It crowded out all else:

“Who are you to say there is no God?’’

This man recounts that he tumbled out of bed to his

knees. In a few seconds he was overwhelmed by a

conviction of the Presence of God. It poured over and

through him with the certainty and majesty of a great

tide at flood. The barriers he had built through the

years were swept away. He stood in the Presence of

Infinite Power and Love. He had stepped from bridge

to shore. For the first time, he lived in conscious com-

panionship with his Creator.

Thus was our friend’s cornerstone fixed in place. No

later vicissitude has shaken it. His alcoholic problem

was taken away. That very night, years ago, it dis-

WE AGNOSTICS 57

appeared. Save for a few brief moments of temptation

the thought of drink has never returned; and at such

times a great revulsion has risen up in him. Seemingly

he could not drink even if he would. God had restored

his sanity.

(See BB 84 Bottom, 154 Bottom)

What is this but a miracle of healing? Yet its ele-

ments are simple. Circumstances made him willing to

believe. He humbly offered himself to his Maker-

then he knew.

Even so has God restored us all to our right minds.

To this man, the revelation was sudden. Some of us

grow into it more slowly.

(See BB 14:2, 567:4)

But He has come to all who

have honestly sought Him.

When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself

to us